


Love Love Love

by eloquent_apollo



Series: Short stories [5]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Kevin is non-binary babyyyyy, Kevin questions their relationship, M/M, Other, but their boys are like mhhh No we are very much in love with u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25675825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloquent_apollo/pseuds/eloquent_apollo
Summary: Kevin feels uncertain about their relationship with Andrew and Neil and feels like they don’t belong with them. Uncertain about themselves and the way their relationship is going, Kevin begins to pull away from their boyfriends.(title based off of Love Love Love by Of Monster and Men)
Relationships: Kevin Day/Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Short stories [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835371
Comments: 8
Kudos: 111





	Love Love Love

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to Alina for beta'ing this! This is for the anon who requested "Kandreil but Kevin doesn't think he belongs in the relationship and they comfort him🥺" I felt like writing some non-binary Kevin tho so I hope that was okay!!

Andrew and Neil understand each other in ways that Kevin doesn’t. When Andrew and Neil are together, cuddling on the couch while Kevin does their homework by themselves, Andrew and Neil just… understand each other? Andrew and Neil fit together in a way Kevin could only wish for. Neil fits perfectly snuggled up at Andrew’s side, knows exactly what Andrew wants from him as he rakes his hands through Andrew’s blonde curls. It’s because of days spend on the rooftops sharing secret kisses and cigarettes, weeks spend on learning each other’s mannerisms and months of dating before Kevin even realised they liked Neil and later Andrew. Kevin knows this, they know it’s not because Andrew and Neil love them less, but when they watch Andrew tracing patterns on the back of Neil’s hand out of the corner of their eyes it still hurts a little. Frustrated with themselves, they decide history and studying can wait and close their book.

“Done with homework?” Andrew asks.

“No,” Kevin says, but makes their way over to the couch anyway.

Neil and Andrew don’t ask them what’s wrong and it stings a little that they apparently can’t even tell Kevin is bothered by something, but Kevin ignores it in favour of joining their boyfriends on the couch. Fitting all three of them on there is a challenge, but with some shifting they manage. Andrew tangles one hand in Kevin’s hair. They’ve been growing it out, and their hair hangs on their shoulders know. They like the way it looks, though occasionally Kevin gets afraid of what the media has to say about it. No bad things have been said about it, though one sports magazine called it a “bold” haircut, but Kevin didn’t take that as a bad review. It could have been worse, but even if it had been, they probably wouldn’t have cut it anyway. Their boyfriends seem particularly fond of their new haircut, because in no time, Neil is dragging his fingers through their hair as well. Kevin let’s out a content sigh and closes their eyes. While they drift off to sleep, they hear Neil and Andrew whispering to each other in quiet Russian.

-

Night practice is one of the few moments they get to really be alone with the three of them. Andrew stands in the goal almost every night now. Kevin practices scrimmages and old Raven drills with Neil, practices rebounds from the walls, while shouting the occasional remark on improvement. Andrew stands in the goal and watches it all play out, but when Kevin tries to take a shot on goal Andrew moves with the speed of lightning, blocking Kevin’s shot on the goal and sending it all the way back to the other side of the court. The ball misses the away goal by a fraction.

“I wish you would do that during a game for once,” Kevin says, before jogging to the other side to grab it.

Andrew says nothing from the goal, but they hear Neil saying something to him before setting after Kevin in a slow jog. When they make it to the ball, Neil gently puts his hand on Kevin’s shoulder and turns them his way. Neil’s eyes are soft, his eyebrows furrowed with worry and it makes Kevin feel bad. They don’t know what they did to make Neil feel worried. They shake his hand off and grab the ball, because playing exy is easier than acknowledging their feelings. Neil isn’t going to give up so easily, though, which Kevin should have seen coming.

“Kevin,” Neil says.

“I’m fine,” Kevin snaps back.

“That’s my line. Let’s not pretend anyone ever believed me when I said it either.”

Kevin sighs and briefly considers telling Neil the truth, but how are they supposed to tell him they think they don’t belong in this weird little nothing/relationship thing they’ve got going on? They don’t want Neil telling them they’re right, they don’t want to be told this thing doesn’t work. Instead, they pull Neil closer and push their heads together. Their helmet clank together uncomfortably, but it’s the closest Kevin can pull Neil and it’ll just have to do for now. If he wants them to kiss him, they’ll just have to wait till after night practice.

“I’m serious, Neil. I’ve got some tests coming up and they’re stressing me out. That’s all. Can we focus back on practice? It helps.”

Neil is willing to accept that answer and they return to their scrimmages. The sound of the ball rebounding on the walls and the sound of shoes running over the hardwood floor helps to soothe some of Kevin’s edges. By the end they felt calm and relaxed, their worries from earlier washed away temporarily. The thoughts of being unworthy and of not belonging with their boyfriends had been settling down in their mind more often, gnawing away at their confidence. Tonight they wouldn’t let their thoughts ruin their improved mood. The ache in their muscles was familiar and relaxing. The hot showers washing away sweat and worries, while they listened to the sound of two other showers turning on. Kevin closed their eyes tightly and focussed only on the sound of running water.

-

Neil’s not stupid. He’s noticed the way Kevin has begin to pull away from him and Andrew and it makes him worried. He isn’t entirely convinced by Kevin’s answer that homework and tests have been worrying them, because when they are worried for a big test, Kevin usually makes Andrew or Neil quiz them on the subjects with little Q-cards they made, or they talks about the subject and homework assignments they’ve got. Neil watches Kevin follow Andrew to the car and sliding into the passenger seat next to Andrew, while Neil makes himself comfortable in the back. It’s almost 1 AM, they got out of practice early tonight. Kevin looks out of the window, staring at the street lights as Andrew drives the three of them back to their dorm room. Since the freshman showed up they shared the dorm with the three of them. Nicky had moved to share with Aaron and Matt this year, though he still frequently showed up to bug them during the day, during the night it was just the three of them. Kevin had the loft bed, but more often than not they push the two low beds together and squeeze the three of them in there at night. On bad days, the beds are pushed apart and they sleep in their respective beds.

Apparently, today is a bad day, because Kevin climbs the stairs to their loft bed and strip down to their underwear. Autumn is slowly approaching, with harsh winds and browning leaves, but the weather is still hot enough that at night their room is cooking and more often than not they all sleep stripped of most their clothes. Neil keeps his shirt on for tonight, and gestures for Andrew to push the beds together if he wants to. Andrew shakes his head an gets into the bed under Kevin, so Neil goes to sleep on his own.

Kevin and Andrew are out in no time, but Neil has trouble falling asleep. Kevin’s strange behaviour is still on his mind, and eventually it’s bugging him enough that he gives up on sleep at all. He puts on a pair of sweatpants and makes his way to the rooftop. He isn’t entirely surprised that Andrew shows up a few minutes later, even though he had been asleep when he snuck off.

Andrew wordlessly settles down next to Neil, shaking two cigarettes out of the carton and handing him one. Neil usually doesn’t smoke, but this time he takes a slow drag from the cigarette and blows the smoke out into the clear night sky. Andrew sits next to him, not asking him why he’s up here so late. Sometimes Neil is grateful that Andrew doesn’t ask Neil what’s wrong, it makes it easier when he doesn’t feel like talking about what nightmares keep him up at night. It’s nice to have someone by his side who is willing to just sit with him and keep him company. Some nights though, it bothers him and he goes to Kevin to tell them what’s on his mind. Kevin is the only one he can turn to when he has nightmares about dark underground hallways tainted red, when he has nightmares of cold metal pressed against his skin and handcuffs around his wrists. Kevin understands the nightmares, because they’re plagued with them as well.

“I’m worried about Kevin,” Neil says.

Andrew gives no indication he heard what Neil said, but he knows he’s listening, because Andrew always pays attention.

“They’re acting off, but they won’t tell me what’s wrong,” Neil continues.

“Want me to talk to them?” Andrew asks.

Neil nods and Andrew says nothing else, but Neil is fine with that. He takes comfort in knowing that Andrew will take care of it. It’s probably nothing too bad, or Kevin would have told them already, but Neil is still glad that Andrew promised to take care of it. Neil hates seeing Kevin worried, hates it even more when he can’t do anything about it. He takes another drag from his cigarette, the smell of smoke grounding him and when he finishes it off, he follows Andrew back to the dorms. They both get into their bed and this time Neil manages to fall asleep.

-

After Kevin’s last class they finds Andrew waiting outside of the building they takes their classes in. They’re surprised to find him there, because they didn’t agree to meet up after classes. When Andrew spots Kevin walking their way he sets off to walk off campus, not waiting for Kevin to catch up with him. He walks ahead of them to the small park near campus grounds and finds a bench far away from the other students. He sits and waits for Kevin to do the same. Andrew stares straight ahead at a small pond, while Kevin sits next to him and takes out their water bottle.

“Spit it out,” Andrew finally says.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb, Kevin. Something’s on your obsessive mind, so tell me what’s up,” Andrew says.

Kevin lets the dumb remark slide, because they know Andrew doesn’t mean it thanks to many nights where Andrew, when he’s in a good mood, will listen to them rambling about history and actually tells him he thinks they’re smart for remembering all that ‘useless shit’ as he always puts it. Rationally, Kevin knows they can tell Andrew what’s bothering them, but fear of being abandoned overtakes his rational thought.

“It’s stupid,” Kevin says.

“But it still bothers you. Neil says you won’t tell him what’s up. I hope you know I won’t stop until you do.”

Kevin turns away from Andrew, but they can feel his heavy gaze set on the back of their head. It puts them on edge, almost more so than just looking at him would do, when they say, “sometimes I think you don’t love me as much as you love Neil.”

Andrew doesn’t answer, and it’s enough to tell Kevin that they’re right.

“I get it. We’ve only been dating for a few months, and I can’t expect either of you to love me as mu—”

“Shut up,” Andrew says, so Kevin does as told.

For a long time neither of them say anything, and Kevin keeps their gaze fixed on the other side of the park. Far away from them a couple is setting up a picnic, a girl is holding a basket with food while another girl tries to put the blanket down. Wind keeps picking up the edges and folding them over, so the first girl takes off her shoes to hold the edges down. The other girl laughs, says something that Kevin can’t make out, before kissing her girlfriend on the lips. Kevin looks away, feeling jealous of how easy they have it.

“Let’s go,” Andrew says.

Kevin finally turns to face him, but Andrew is looking the other way. He gets up and Kevin follows. Their body is numb and their brain is on auto-pilot as they follow Andrew back to his car. The whole ride is spend in an uncomfortable silence, until they make it to the fox tower to pick Neil up. Kevin is certain they’re going to break up with them now. They should have seen it coming, but the idea of losing the two people they loved and trusted so much still freaks them out. They don’t want it to end, but there is nothing they can do to stop Andrew and Neil either. Instead they sit in the passenger seat and tries to blink away tears that are threatening to spill down their face.

Andrew stops the car in front of a small café, gets out of the car and disappears inside without a word to either Neil or Kevin. Neil turns to look out the window in the direction that Andrew disappeared, while Kevin finally gathers the courage to look at him in the rear-view mirror. Neil seems calm and collected, but when he turns and their eyes meet in the mirror, the look in his eyes change to mild concern. Kevin turns away.

“Kevin,” Neil says, but Andrew comes back and they’re driving again and Kevin is silent for the entire drive.

They eventually stop at a small park, further away from the dorms. Andrew parks the car and the three of them get out, following Andrew down the path until he finds a place for them to sit. Andrew takes his jacket off and throws it on the floor and Neil follows his example. Kevin hesitates, then decides to just sit down. At the small café, Andrew picked them up coffee and donuts, passing them their own cups and Kevin is a little shocked to see that Andrew remembered their order. They shouldn’t have been, because Andrew remembers everything.

“Kevin thinks we don’t love them as much as we love each other,” Andrew finally says, being the first to break the silence.

Neil turns to look at Kevin, who can finally no longer hold back their tears.

“Kevin…”

Neil grabs their hands into his, placing a soft kiss on their knuckles. “Why would you think that? Of course we love you just as much.”

“Sometimes- I know you guys are closer because- Because you dated longer but… sometimes I look at you two and I think you know each other better, like you understand each other in a way I never could and it feels- It feels like I don’t belong and I-“ Kevin shakes their head, unable to finish that train of thought.

Andrew puts a hand on Kevin’s ankle, but both of them give Kevin their space while they cry.

“Of course we love you,” Andrew says, when Kevin’s crying quiets down a bit.

“But-“

“No, fuck that,” Andrew says, cutting Kevin off.

“Kevin, we love you,” Neil assures them, scooting closer to kiss Kevin on their cheek.

“I love you too,” Kevin mutters, pulling their boyfriends a bit closer so they can give them both a kiss on their foreheads. Andrew pretends he doesn’t care for it, but Kevin notices the subtle way he shifts closer so he can receive another one, which Kevin is more than happy to give.

“Next time when you feel like that, just tell us,” Neil says as he leans against Kevin’s side. “I was worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Kevin says.

Andrew gives them a kiss on their cheek, making them smile. They wipe their tears away, while Neil grabs his coffee. In the distance Kevin can see dark clouds drawing closer, but they don’t really care if it starts to rain soon. They’re content with sitting outside with their boyfriends, who they realise maybe do know them a lot better than they gave them credit for.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope y'all liked that! Come say hi to me on my tumblr if u want [over here](https://eloquent-apollo.tumblr.com)  
> 


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